throughout this dubious relationship of mine. all 3 months of it *eye roll* . freddie my love and sweetheart (gag) and i have broken up on several occasions. he once sent me a tx one time that wasnt meant for me. i was actually waiting for him (the irony) to pick me up and take me to his house but he was ‘busy’. the tx said ‘do you still want those driving lessons’ or something along them lines. i new it was for a girl . wt the f is he txin a girl and asking her if she wants driving lessons when hes supposed to be seeing me that very day?!? but anyway we wasnt even going out at that time i think so ill let that slide. after that when we had been going out for like a month. i was complaining about how he doesnt see me enough (he sees me like once a week. hardly calls me. when i call he doesnt pick up (unintentionally. (apparently)) *eye roll* and when he does come see me he comes 4 hours later than he says he will. and he went crazy and started shoutin exasperated like ‘wt the fuck everyones asking for my attention, you , my ex, my friends, am i supposed to split myself into 3 ways’ n i was like wt the hell do u need to split yourself for your ex for . cant remember how we resolved that one. you know when it happens so fast you cant remember what was said. so he used word play and said he said this. as opposed to that (which is what i thought)
sigh. you no when a story is just too long. and typing it is so annoying
anyway. there was a time he came to sleep at my house . and he was in a baddd mood and he was rude to me the hole nite. he shouted at me to ‘get a fucking cup’ etc and was just so disrespectful the hole nite. i had silk sheets and day kept slipping on (v.v.v. annoyin) and he complained about that too. in the mornin his alarm woke us up and i told him to turn it off. i sed ur alarms ringing and he wudnt get up so i nudged him and he sed ‘dnt fucking touch me’ dont no wht i said . prob sumthin equally rude, i just left him then i got up and showerd (im a light sleeper. once im up im up) when i got bk in the bedroom he was awake and sitting up. i put on my laptop and let him charge his phone via usb cable on my laptop. his files from his mobile came up on my laptop (as it does when you connect it via usb cable) and i went through his pictures. and i see a picture of my SISTER :O and i say ‘y d fuck u gt a picture of my sister on your phone’ he pathetically tried ‘i thought it was you’ (impossible) and then tried a different tact ‘why the fuck you going through my things! your invading my privacy’ yes this boy is 24 years old ladies and gentleman. and he swears like a sailor. then he got up and say ‘i no when im not wanted.!’ put on his shoes and stormed out sayin ‘u no where i am if u need me’ i think he was reeli embrassed at being caught out more than anything. when he got home he had the cheek to caLL me and say ‘ i dont want to cause tension between u and ur sister. so im gna nt tlk to her ne more and im not gonna tlk to u’ and i was beyond shocked. up untill this point i though freddies shit didnt stink. i thought that the sun shone out of his ass. i was soo upset. i dnt even no how else to describe the severity of my anguish and shock. i couldnt believe that he was willing to give up on us so easily. it really upset me. which lead onto sky (anutha story for anutha day)
i tried so hard with this relationship. i really did. i took into consideration his temperament and kept my mouth shut when normally i wouldnt. i always made the effort. i would call him i would message him always first. i know that i cant even read the previous posts i got written in here about him. bcz ill cry. i was so happy. so naive and stupid. why do relationships have to end? why cant they go on forever?
the next time we argued was when freddie dearest had in his status on blackberry messenger that he missed his ex. it was one of them forward msgs that you put like a fruit e.g. strawberry= i miss my ex, orange= single etc. it was something stupid like that. and he had strawberry in his status. blissfully unaware me asked wt it meant. and he didnt reply. i had to ask my friend to forward me the message again so i could see what it stood for . and when i found out i was furious. i said to him ‘strawberry = missing your ex. so u miss ur ex do u?? ok fine’ he didnt message me agen untill the next day when he said ‘are you mad at me’ n i said ‘no i just dont want to be your girlfriend anymore’ and he didnt reply. he called me probably the next day and i was very sure to act breezy and without a care in the world. he was like ‘hi babes’ n i said im not your babes n he said y and i said. cz im not ur girlfriend and he said how can you just break up with me like that. no warning , no email no nothing. (i laughed. sorry but was funny) and i was like well. you should figure out if you still want your ex. you dont need to b wiv me.(something like that) and we ended up hAVIn a big arguement. he said im too sensitive and that we ‘cut from different cloths (were diff ppl basically) and that im taking the relationship too serious .. i was like :O obviously! im not goin to take it as a joke am i! and he was like i thought we were just having fun getting to know each other. que my *rolls eyes* . it was so infuriating how can he think werre getting to know each other when were GOING OUT! BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND. not jus dating. fucking prick.
after we sorted out that argument we were cool. we were good. jus coasting along. hence the post below when he said hes really enjoying our relationship.
but then only jus a few days ago. i think im pre menstrual to be fair but still. i was sitting there and i started to feel consumed with anger. i was really pissed the fuck off. cause of the way freddie treats me and the way he never replies to my messages etc i think it was when he was supposed to come see me but took forever because he was drunk and trying to sober up befre he drove. so i said just come see me tomo. and he didnt. it really annoyed me cause he always claims hes busy, bt hes not too bbusy to go out drinking and to go partying, so i started to do what he does to me back to him. i didnt reply to his messages . he rang me and i ignored it twice and he messaged me like ‘pick up your fucking fone’ and i called him . he was like wts ur problem and i said i dont have one. he said im acting suspicious and i said im not the one you have to worry about . your the one that does dis dis and that. bla bla bla and i mentioned all the things above and he said he feels as though what hes doing is sufficient. he said if i dont think it is and i wana find someone hu is sufficent then i shud jus let him no and not do it behind his bk and i said ‘ u no i wouldnt do that’. i asked him if hes got time for a girlfriend n he said yh . hes just busy at uni and in jan when hes onli gt one module were gna get sick of each other coz hes always gonna b around’ and i said ‘*resigned sigh* i jus miss u thats all, i jus want u to ping me bk wen i ping u. is dt too much to ask’ .. i felt really pathetic, that i had to beg for my boyfriend to return my messages (well it wasnt begging bt you no.)
i was on his facebook d other day and some girl wrote on his wall to him ,’ thanks for the add’. and i had to wait ages to see him (the rarity that it is) cause i new that addressing this question over messenger would leave me ignored. so when i did see him i asked him who this ternika bitch was (sorry ternika. i no its not ur fault my bf.. well soon to b ex boyfriend is a dog) and he said its some girl he met at a party. and i said wt the fuck are you adding her for. and he said to be friendly. he saw her facebook saw day had mutual friends then added her. and i was like why the hell would you wana add random girl you dont know. he says he likes having pretty things to look at on facebook (shes ugly by the way)and i left him and went back home. the next day
he messaged me and i said ‘dont yu have some random girls to b adding what u messaging me for’ and he rang me and we argued, i told him that its stupid that he wants to add random girls. n he was like ‘sorryy i didnt no we were married’ n i said if i wanted to add random boys on facebook would that be ok ? and he said if thats what makes you happy. i said bt it dont thats why i wouldnt. and he said well it makes me happy! ive been doing it for years if i new u were gna chat this much shit i might (everyone see how he said might) not have done it. and i was like oh GREAT ! might. how lucky am i. and i was like if she starts flirting wiv u then what!??!? and he said. ‘u trust me. dats then what’ . he said he was getting annoyed because i was insinuating that he isnt committed to me when he is. which softend me up.
this probably isnt going to make sense to any one that reads it. im jus messily putting down everythin from my memory so i dont forget it.
so this brings me on to what happend to make me so furious yesterday. i told freddie that im late and he asked ‘for what? uni?’ (hilariously stupid) and i said, no for my period and he said ‘ok. is that a problem?’ and i said ‘not yet’ he went into this hole rant about how im pms-in etc. so thats wht i was shocked as to why he did what he did. he messaged me after the rant. asking if i felt better. and i said. yh im eating your skittles (the one i stole from him when he was sleeping after the ‘ternika fight in his car’) and he was like ‘dont piss me off with the whole skittle thing again.’ and i said if your going to cry about it then ill buy u more. even though i share everything with you and i dont complain. and he said ‘except your chicken’ (the time he came around mine and slept over. i made chicken. but he bit it twice and hated it. so what am i supposed to do!?!) and thats its exactly what i said to him. but i threw in the fact that he was screwing up his ‘dumb face’ after he bit it. and do you no what he said to me ?!?!?
ladies and gentleman. this boy/guy or man if i can even call him that said the following words to me
‘i only buy skittles because i know you want something sweet after you suck my dick’
oh yes. he did,. after u suck my dick?>!!?!?!? is he crazy?!?!
and i said to him ‘and for that comment. i will never give u head again’
he was like ‘wt d fuck babes! u no im considerate like that i wasnt trying to be rude’
and i said that is the most disrespectful thing ive ever heard
and he said ‘fucking take out your tongue ring then’
and i said ‘just because u dont respect or appreciate me, doesnt mean i should take out my tongue bar’
and then like 10 mins later. caught unaware thats when he did it
he DELETED ME OFF BLACKBERRY
i was soooo shocked i could NOT believe it. at all. i called him and he didnt pick up so i tx him and said. did u delete me off blackberry? *angry face*
he called me like 5 mins after like. ‘yes i did delete u off blackberry, but ur in a bad mood. and ur mood is affecting my mood. and everythin i say to u is rong. i didnt delete u cz i hate u or nethin. i just deleted u untill ur in a better mood,. i just dont feel like messenging u rite now’
and i hung up and text him ‘have fun doing whateva your doing’ because i heard girls in the background
and thats why im goin to break up with him. if he ever calls,. im going to tell him that hes right wen he said were cut from different cloths. and that he doesnt like me as much as i like him. and he needs to go do whateva he wants to do because im done. i have a speech in my head and everythin
Tags: deceit, heartbreak, liar, tears, user
